At the Sanatorium, or Holiday holidays

Just a quick, hopelessly belated note to let our legions of followers know that we are taking another week at the Sanatorium to let our arms and legs and digestive systems (including the liver) recuperate from the rigours of the season.

We'll be back, elving it out in the first week of January, though not necessarily at the beginning.

All the best for 2016!

Leatherbeaten

 

Goodbye 2015, You Will Be Sadly Missed

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, according to folk wisdom, but honestly, why would you even try?  You can't make an egg sandwich out of two truck tires and a giraffe, but no-one feels the need to point that out a daily basis.  On the other hand, you can take something that superficially looks less than promising, and with a combination of hard work, good luck and inherited wealth turn it into a thing of beauty; a masterpiece of functional profitability. You can, but we didn't.

2015 was the year that began as a potential silk purse, but then took a wrong turn into the sow's ear aisle of the supermarket of life, and stayed there until the ears were well past their sell by dates.  At that point, it joined them in a dumpster filled to the brim with rotting sows ears, together with heaps of sheep's eyes and the special parts of man cows that nobody wants to eat. Not even the Scottish. From there it was a short slide to the landfill of hope, where it was consigned to oblivion among mounds of seeping filth, toxic metallic sludge and broken records.  Yes, just like this one!

We are, of course, looking forward to a superb 2016, but we'll be finishing this year off with a well earned week at the sanatorium.  Thanks for all your orders, patience and faith this year - next year will be better!

Our Trials And Tribulations are Almost at an End. We Hope.

Finally, we are getting settled in the new digs.  The space is great, the neighbours are cool and friendly and at last, we have big windows again.  However, the journey has been dark and long, and at times it's been difficult to hear ourselves weep because of the ceaseless clatter of gnashing teeth.  It feels like we have been moving forever, and getting nowhere.  But evolution is slow and incremental, and in fact we have been making progress.  So. we now finally have a phone number, which you'll find on our Contact page. 

If you are reading this Bell Canada, let me say - I'd say it to you directly but I don't feel like spending six hours in your purgatory of voice mail only to find myself raving at some poor innocent woman in Bangalore who can not do a single thing to make anything better - let me say that you are reminiscent of some spoiled, tyrannical deity whose total control over the country's phone lines gives you impunity to be indifferent to your customers needs, incompetent in the execution of your business and wilfully capricious in the witholding of your 'favours'. 

Moving on, we now have almost everything in place to get us back to what we do best, making the finest whips, floggers etc in North America!  Let the rejoicing begin.

 

GTA Leatherphiles - You May Now Explode with Joy.

And in other earth shattering news today, it was announced that Leatherbeaten is relocating to Toronto! 

And yes, like everything else in the news,  it's true.  As of the end of this very month, we'll be stuffing our stuff into a new workspace in an amazing old building at 222 Islington Ave. 

More hallucinatory revelations to follow!

Coming Fast!

Yes, St Snookum's Day is hard upon us, beating a breathless path to our bedroom doors.  Here at Leatherbeaten, after extensive discussions, round tables and simulated targeted focus groups, we've decided to extend our Christmas discount offer to include the Great Feast of Fornicators, because nothing says I love you like a well flogged volunteer!   That's a lovely ten percent discount from our regular prices over the entire range of our magnifique premium floggers, running the gamut from the soft and sensual elkhide to the sharp, sociopathic rubber Therapy.  Leatherbeaten - a sensation for every mood!

Boldly Leaping . . .

. . . into the twenty first century, Leatherbeaten is now available for following on Twitter!

Come and find us @Leatherbeaten and get all the details of the life of a bijou fetish house here in the piny woods of east central Ontario. . .

you know you want to!

Say Hello to Liquid Lightning, or else!

Today is a happy day for serious SM players, as we proudly release - or rather unleash - our Liquid Lightning into the world.  Anyone familiar with our Liquid Cane and Liquid Truncheon will recognise the lineage, but we feel the Lightning surpasses them both in terms of simple, slicy pain and general nastiness. 

Check it out on our Percussion page!!

A slippery handshake to ISIS Lube!

We've been using this stuff for years now, and it only just struck us we could actually sell some of it!  That's us - all business, all the time....

Anyroad, if you've never tried Isis' fabulous Synergistic Energy Xchange personal lubricant product, you are in for a treat. 

Check it out on our lube page....

An embarrassing hiccup

Like an overeager speed dater who had too many pickled onions and hard boiled eggs for lunch, our website has experienced an embarrassing hiccup. 

Although the checkout page shows that we accept Amex, empirical research has shown that that is only the case in Canada.  We regret that we cannot accept Amex orders originating from outside the land of mounties and beavers.

My apologies, and we will be working day and night to de-hiccup the situation.

 

 

Leatherbeaten has a shiny new website!

Thanks for stopping by!

After a bit of sneezing, a certain amount of nose blowing and several streaming eyes, Leatherbeaten's new website is now officially out of its sickbed and on its way to the market.  That's you guys.  No, it hasn't been without one or two hiccups, but we're here now, and as I - an unreconstructed Luddite - get to grips with the technology, I am optimistic it will improve.